006. Audio

[nullorvoid]

...You know, I'm really lenient about what passes for 'evolving' around here? I try to not get into the whole 'okay, but it doesn't work like that' thing, because nothing makes sense around here. I get it.

But at the same time, there's got to be a line in the sand somewhere.

[And that is said with all the exasperation of a man who is building up to something, sounds like. Sure enough, there are a couple of photos posted to the network eventually, and...well.

For all intents and purposes, they look pretty normal?

However.]

...I'm seriously not sure if this counts as evolving or just deciding to be perpetually pissed off.

I mean, I can't blame it? If somebody shoved a damn rock in my face and expected me to fix my damn fighting skills with it I'd probably be pretty mad too. But still. "Come the hell on" has got to be a totally reasonable response to this.

Comments

Audio

[veggie_vamp]

Well... I think the second one has more... muscle?

[nullorvoid]

It...kinda.

[lord, he's going to be staring at this thing for the foreseeable future.]

I don't know. It's kind of the principle of the thing. It's not like I hate it or anything, but seriously?

[veggie_vamp]

I guess the designers of this video game had an off day on that one.

[nullorvoid]

It looks like they were kind of asleep at the wheel for a lot of things.

[I mean, seriously.]

Could be worse, I guess. It could be October all over again.

[Audio]

[unkinder]

...I suppose you could say it just barely counts as evolution, given the fact that at least Poliwrath is somewhat larger than Poliwhirl. It also takes on an additional type, so...there's that.

[...and it's angrier. Also whoever got to name it clearly didn't have to think about it too hard.]

It makes up for it in having a second final evolution in Politoed, though I assume Politoed wasn't 'discovered' for a while, given the fact that it didn't exist in the games I was familiar with before coming here.

[He's not quite sure how that shakes out in this world, really, but he sure as heck didn't know what a Politoed was until he got here.]

[nullorvoid]

[...You know, it's actually good to hear that some people seem to be just as ???? about this as he is, goddamn.]

Yeah, I'm not complaining about it any? I'm just wondering why the hell anyone thought this would count - basically, who looked at this and decided it was a thing.

[Because no, really, hulking out does not fucking count.]

I'm not too familiar with the second evolution, though; I'll probably try for it eventually, just for the hell of it.

[unkinder]

The only answer I have is that they don't have any other quantifier for it. Pokemon don't just "get bigger", they "evolve".

[Even if their evolution only barely counts.]

I haven't trained either so I couldn't tell you which to go with, but just by appearance alone Politoed seems more...interesting, if nothing else.

[nullorvoid]

It's not like I'm not going to attempt proper breeding eventually anyway; I might as well try to get one then.

[This is gonna be a shitshow.]

I think I've just reached the point where I'm not questioning anything anymore, because nothing is sane here. Surprising what you can get used to, isn't it.

audio;

[loveisanopendoor]

[ Long time no see, fellow ginger disaster! Would you like a more optimistic approach? ]

W-well, you can't really expect all of the evolutions to be totally drastic transformations, right? Look on the bright side, at least you know there are worse ones out there! There's one Pokemon that turns from an ice cream cone into an ice cream cone with two scoops!

...Okay, maybe that was a bad example, because that's really cute, but there's gotta be more frustrating ones! Like, uh...oh, oh! There's that one that looks like an angry Poke Ball! When it evolves, it just becomes an upside-down Poke Ball! That's pretty ridiculous, right?

[nullorvoid]

...Isn't there something like a pile of slime that becomes an even bigger pile of slime?

[Seriously, what the actual hell is this world even.]

[loveisanopendoor]

Oh man, yeah, those are gross...and there's that weird purple thing that spits out toxic gas? That evolves into two weird purple things that spit out toxic gas? Poison types were never really my thing...

[nullorvoid]

...Probably for good reason, because I'm pretty sure a lot of them are kind of like that.

[No, seriously, that shit's nasty.]

I've got a Gengar, but he's more ghost than poison, so he's not so bad once you get him to behave. And Dragalge is...pretty okay as long as you don't piss them off. Their poison dissolves steel, so you do not want them spitting in your face.

I don't really work with straight-out poison-types, though, those are the closest I've got.

[AUDIO]

[invigorating]

Well I think he looks cute! Do you think he'll let me hug him?

[...nowi no]

[nullorvoid]

I think he'll probably break your spine if you try.

[NOWI, NO.]

[invigorating]

Aww, c'mon, he's not that mad, right?

[nullorvoid]

No, it's more like humans break more easily than Pokémon tend to figure for.

text;

[ladywithnovoice]

Well, technically you could argue that the fighting skills did improve. New secondary type and all.

[nullorvoid]

Improved visibly too I guess. I mean you can't really look at that thing and say it wouldn't be good at punching stuff.

[ladywithnovoice]

Exactly. In a way, you could almost say this is actually not too bad. There's no need to get used to an entirely different body, like having three heads.

[nullorvoid]

...Well now I've just got to ask if you're talking from experience here or what.

[Did something go full Cerberus on you, is that what happened - ]

text;

[ossifragant]

That's certainly a unique evolution, I'll give it that.

They're usually far more involved.

[nullorvoid]

Yeah that's what I thought too? But apparently getting so pissed off your weird swirly thing changes direction counts now.

Also fingers. Fingers happened.

[ossifragant]

I don't know whether to blame nature or someone out there with a really shitty sense of humor.

I guess having fingers is helpful, but the angry scowl doesn't help much.

[nullorvoid]

Well I mean I guess there's less of a question whether it's actually going to punch you or not.

[islandshore]

...Huh. Yeah, all they do is gain a few muscles and start scowling all the time.

[Heh. Funny thing is--]

If you'd used a King's Rock, it would've turned into an actual frog, but I think Politoeds fit a different niche, anyway. Less about brawling and more about taking hits? I'll have to double check with Sora.

[Eh, but the main point is--]

You'd think stone evolution would be more impressive. Even Shellder and Staryu's evolutions aren't that low key.