005. Audio

[nullorvoid]

You know, I was going to ask whether anyone else has seen these things running around, but that's pretty much a completely moot point by now if the panic all over is anything to judge by.

So at risk of asking a dumb question, I'm going to wonder why these things are so damn violent – apparently everyone's getting mauled all over, when even failed captures don't get up and decide to bite you. Is there a reason these things are so freaked out, or...

[...]

Well, one more question, I guess.

[And there will be an image sent out shortly; it's kind of...well, it certainly is a thing all right, let's put it that way.]

Is this thing okay? It doesn't even have a face, and that's probably why the damn thing hasn't bitten me yet.

Comments

video;

[shuttermouse]

...How does it even eat? Photosynthesis?

audio;

[nullorvoid]

[Ginti doesn't really do video, so awkward skype it is; hopefully no one here minds that.]

No idea. I'm a little more immediately concerned with breathing, but it seems to be doing that all right.

audio;

[aufsassig]

Jesus, you think that's bad, look at this fucker I spotted rooting around in the garbage earlier, holy shit.

[Doot doot doo let him just sift through his TEN MILLION SELFIES in order to find...]

ATT: IMG3910.jpg

[nullorvoid]

[Oh my god...]

What is wrong with this place - are these things just everywhere now?!

[aufsassig]

Hell if I know — hey, you think it wants my soul, or just the remains of my fucking lunch?

[nullorvoid]

My money would probably be on firstborn child, but your soul'd probably do in a pinch.

[aufsassig]

Are you saying you think a firstborn child is worth more than my soul?

[nullorvoid]

More like it's probably easier to deal in children than souls.

[...]

This got really unholy.

[aufsassig]

It wasn't already, on account of your thing with no face and old Zipper-Mouth playing Oscar the Grouch?

[...]

I do actually have a witty retort but it's pretty sketchy to make light of stuff like that, even at a time like this.

[HE SAYS, AS THOUGH HE WOULD GIVE ONE IOTA OF A FUCK ABOUT IT WERE HE NOT ON A PUBLIC NETWORK UNDER AN ALIAS OF "ALLEGEDLY NOT A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKHEAD"]

[TEXT]

[invigorating]

IT'S SO CUTE GINTI ARE YOU GOING TO CATCH IT???

[...There are so many things wrong with that, Nowi.]

[nullorvoid]

...You know, I'm just going to say that I'm sure there are worse things and leave it at that.

[nullorvoid]

No I am not going to catch it, try to feed it maybe because I'm not entirely sure it's not going to just keel over in a few days though.

...Keep the sparkles to manageable levels, okay?

[invigorating]

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TRY TO FEED IT??
AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP IT BUT IT'S REALLY CUTE!!

[video]

[defyingfrigidity]

[... Elsa's. Not sure whether to laugh or be horrified at that thing, to be honest.]

... Um. Well. Those odd starfish seem okay with just those jewels, right....?

[aufsassig]

Hey, do you think the gem on that thing shoots lasers?

[nullorvoid]

...You know, I don't know if I hope it does or not. Stupid-cool things like that are more my coworker's area of expertise.

[nullorvoid]

Doesn't pretty much everything around here eat those muffins or whatever they are?

[aufsassig]

...You have somebody at your bar who's got expertise in gem-faced monstrosities that may or may not shoot lasers?

Shit, I need to start drinking where you work.

[audio]

[nullorvoid]

[Ginti still doesn't really do video, but as long as Elsa doesn't mind audio-only we're good.]

Yeah, they are. But starfish are okay with a lot of things, aren't they? Or, well, without a lot of things that most animals kind of think are necessary.

[...Like brains. Brains are kind of important.]

[nullorvoid]

Trust me, if anyone would be at all interested in gem-faced monstrosities that may or may not shoot lasers, it would -

[...]

...Actually probably be maybe 80% of the not-me people back home, because the people I work with are all just kind of like that.

[I MEAN THERE WAS AN ARGUMENT TO BE MADE but then he remembered that oculus exists and nona's weird as fuck and why is no one in the tower sane. why.]

[invigorating]

OH YEAH THEY DO
GET IT ON VIDEO I WANT TO SEE HOW IT EATS!!

[nullorvoid]

If it eats at all. We've got no idea if it does or not.

Or you could always get down out of the tree you're probably in and come see the thing yourself.

[invigorating]

WELL IT HAS BEEN AWHILE I GUESS THIS COUNTS AS A WIN FOR ME
WHERE ARE YOU

[aufsassig]

...I officially like your former working conditions a lot better than I like my own. Where do I apply to get a transfer into your organization?

[audio]

[defyingfrigidity]

[Oh she's totally fine with him switching to audio! She'll swap over too; she just defaults to video more often than not. Habits.]

I suppose... [She honestly has no idea how real life starfish work okay.] But then again, pokemon can be completely different from the real-world animals they look like...

... Maybe try and lead it to water, though? That might help, since those starfish are water-types.