006. Audio

[nullorvoid]

...You know, I'm really lenient about what passes for 'evolving' around here? I try to not get into the whole 'okay, but it doesn't work like that' thing, because nothing makes sense around here. I get it.

But at the same time, there's got to be a line in the sand somewhere.

[And that is said with all the exasperation of a man who is building up to something, sounds like. Sure enough, there are a couple of photos posted to the network eventually, and...well.

For all intents and purposes, they look pretty normal?

However.]

...I'm seriously not sure if this counts as evolving or just deciding to be perpetually pissed off.

I mean, I can't blame it? If somebody shoved a damn rock in my face and expected me to fix my damn fighting skills with it I'd probably be pretty mad too. But still. "Come the hell on" has got to be a totally reasonable response to this.

Comments

audio;

[loveisanopendoor]

[ Long time no see, fellow ginger disaster! Would you like a more optimistic approach? ]

W-well, you can't really expect all of the evolutions to be totally drastic transformations, right? Look on the bright side, at least you know there are worse ones out there! There's one Pokemon that turns from an ice cream cone into an ice cream cone with two scoops!

...Okay, maybe that was a bad example, because that's really cute, but there's gotta be more frustrating ones! Like, uh...oh, oh! There's that one that looks like an angry Poke Ball! When it evolves, it just becomes an upside-down Poke Ball! That's pretty ridiculous, right?

[nullorvoid]

...Isn't there something like a pile of slime that becomes an even bigger pile of slime?

[Seriously, what the actual hell is this world even.]

[loveisanopendoor]

Oh man, yeah, those are gross...and there's that weird purple thing that spits out toxic gas? That evolves into two weird purple things that spit out toxic gas? Poison types were never really my thing...

[nullorvoid]

...Probably for good reason, because I'm pretty sure a lot of them are kind of like that.

[No, seriously, that shit's nasty.]

I've got a Gengar, but he's more ghost than poison, so he's not so bad once you get him to behave. And Dragalge is...pretty okay as long as you don't piss them off. Their poison dissolves steel, so you do not want them spitting in your face.

I don't really work with straight-out poison-types, though, those are the closest I've got.

[loveisanopendoor]

Strong enough to dissolve steel?! My goodness...

[ Note to self: keep Doublade away from that thing... ]

I have a Gengar, too, though! But I never really considered those Poison-types. Actually, I'm pretty sure they don't learn any Poison-type moves at all...mine likes to play lots of pranks. You'd think after so long, they'd grow out of it...

The only primary Poison-type I have is a Nidoking, which is part Ground type, too! I don't think you'd be able to guess he's part Poison though unless you knew that the horn on its head was venomous...it mainly uses its big claws and huge tail to fight, anyway. And it fights hard...

But I prefer Dragons and Fairies, myself.

[nullorvoid]

You know, I'm actually not surprised? Not like that's a bad thing. I just don't know what I was expecting.

[...Ginti.]

I'm mostly dealing with water and ghost-types, personally. ...And cats. There are cats.

[loveisanopendoor]

Most people don't exactly picture a girl like me going around with giant dragons and dinosaurs and sea serpents, but, hey, you gotta get a good mix of the strong ones and the cute pink ones, right?

What kind of cats are we talking about here, though? Psychic cats or money cats?

[nullorvoid]

Both!

[...he. he likes his cats.]

And it's not so much that my thought jumps to "dinosaurs" and more that it's...I don't know, it's all fairy-tale stuff, you know? You just tame the dragons instead of slaying them.

[loveisanopendoor]

Do you have a cat back home, out of curiosity, or were you just always fond of them?

[ That's kind of cute... ]

I guess that is true! I never really thought of it that way, but you're totally right...it's like a weird alternate version of the story where the princess doesn't need the knight in shining armor because she takes care of the dragon herself.

[ And, y'know, ends up dating the bard instead. ]

Think there are any stories out there like that for real? If there are, I certainly haven't heard them.

[nullorvoid]

There probably are - if anyone's going to be the first person to come up with something, it's probably not going to be me, I'm not really the creative sort unless I have to be.

[You know, work. Deathtraps are hard, okay.]

But yeah, I had a cat back home. I haven't seen her around in a while, though. I know she's okay? But she doesn't really come around.

[Because even his damn cat questions his poor life choices, apparently.]

[loveisanopendoor]

Law enforcement doesn't leave much wiggle room, huh? I guess that'd be sort of the point...

[ Poor guy. ]

To my knowledge cats are pretty aloof anyway. I can see why people like them, though...

[nullorvoid]

They're really not, though? I mean, they don't act as interested in people as dogs, I guess, but they're just different about it. They come in and sit in the room with you despite having a whole damn house to spend time in, and they'll let you pet them forever if you pay attention to what they're doing and don't just keep rubbing them until they bite you.

[...Anna if you have learned nothing else today

Ginti's got a lot of feelings about cats]

I don't know, mine was pretty smart. She spent a lot of time around when I was working, too. I'll probably find her eventually when I get back, I don't know.

[loveisanopendoor]

[ THAT'S CUTE... ]

Well, when you put it that way, it does sound like they appreciate your company! Even if they're not, y'know, overly affectionate like puppies are...I never really had a pet back home, other than my stallion, so all I know is what I read in books and stuff.

But I hope you do! It sounds like you really care for her. Which, I mean, you kind of have to, if you're a pet owner...what's her name?

[nullorvoid]

...You have a stallion.

[Why the hell is he surprised anymore.]

Cat's name is Memine, though. It's Latin for...something or other, I guess, most of the stuff around where I work is. It's mostly just easy to remember.

[loveisanopendoor]

D-doesn't every princess..? His name is Kjekk! I-it means handsome!

[ Memine, though...cute name. And if it's Latin... ]

...It's easy to remember because it means "remember," doesn't it? Or something similar. Maybe "memory"? It's like "memento"...

[nullorvoid]

Yeah, sorta. It's not a direct translation - that'd be Memineram, I think? Meminī, something like that. It's ironic as hell either way, because my memory's kind of notoriously shit, but there we go.

[...we are really pretentious in the Tower, Anna.]

Cute name for the horse, though. Do you have one of the flaming unicorns you can get here, too?

[loveisanopendoor]

Is it? That's too bad! I wouldn't take you for the kind of guy to have a bad memory...but that certainly is a bit on the sarcastic side!

[ She doesn't mind the snobbishness, it pretty much comes with the territory of Latin! ]

I don't have one, but I've seen them around! I opted for the cute firey fox, instead.

[ Because of course she did. ]

I should get around to the horse, though, one of these days...but the idea of riding it still kinda makes me think twice, even if I know it's not supposed to burn me? It's still the principle of "I'm sitting on a horse that's on fire," y'know?

[nullorvoid]

Yeah, that would be why I don't have anything like that either, outside of the part where I just don't travel much.

[There is something inherently unnerving about that, let's put it that way.]

And I don't know, it's more that I don't have the greatest memory for people most of the time. It's less shit here, probably because I'm dealing with less of them? Like the group here is pretty stable, people coming and going sometimes aside. Where I'm working we've got a pretty high turnover.

[...okay it's more like a constant parade of dead people

a death parade, if you will

and that isn't exactly the reason anyway but you know what it's less weird to explain it that way]

A+

[loveisanopendoor]

Really? I wouldn't think of a job like law enforcement being such a revolving door...if anything, you'd think it'd be the opposite! But I guess I can understand that. You see so many faces that they all just kinda blur into each other...doesn't exactly sound fun.

[nullorvoid]

Yeah, it's something like that.

[...]

Granted, my job's kind of more complicated than basic law enforcement stuff. I've told a couple of people here about it, but it's kind of a mess to get into.

[loveisanopendoor]

I'd like to think I'm not too bad at dealing with messes, really, if you're not uncomfortable telling me about it. Not saying you have to or anything, of course, but, always open to lend an ear if you want.

[nullorvoid]

[...You know, let's just- ]

Let's just start by saying that I don't judge living people.

[loveisanopendoor]

...

Ooooooh. So you're, uh, you're like Odin, then! Choosing who gets to go to Valhalla or who goes to Hel? That sort of deal?

[ Well, that's not what she was expecting, but, uh, let's roll with it, okay-- ]

[nullorvoid]

[...You know what, if nothing else he can definitely appreciate Anna's general ability to roll with this, albeit in the most Norwegian way possible.]

Something like that, yeah. I'm not any sort of god, though; it'd be more like if Odin created something for the sole purpose of deciding who gets Valhalla or Hel. Not...exactly golems, because those can't pass moral judgement, but close enough. That's what I am.

[loveisanopendoor]

Uh huh. I get what you're saying, for sure. ...So, uh, wow, now I get why you were so bothered by the change of scenery...

[ Suddenly going from the Pearly Gates or whatever to a place like New Bark must have been jarring as can be. ]

That's so interesting, though! I mean, it's one heck of a job, but...