003. Audio

[nullorvoid]

Two questions.

[Well, it looks like someone's back on the network now that all the general insanity is...mostly over; audio-only again, because apparently that's just how he's going to do things.]

One: is there some way to get levels on your Pokémon without making them fight? I've got one who's decided he's a lover, not a fighter, which is cute and all but he needs the levels and I'm not going to see if the stupid trees will let me wish levels onto him.

[He pauses for a moment once that's out there, though.]

The other thing is that I misplaced a couple people. Somehow. They were here this weekend; I can't find them as of yesterday.

One's fine on her own. The other's someone who shouldn't be wandering around by herself.

[God, no one explained fourth wall to him.]

Comments

audio;

[aufsassig]

I think there are candies you can feed 'em to make 'em level up, maybe? Like steroids or something.

[AND ONCE AGAIN, THE GOOD HERR JAEGER PROVES HIMSELF AS BEING THAT GUY WHO PROBABLY KNOWS A GUY WHO ONCE DID THE THING. God bless.]

...And I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I have a feeling you're basically out of luck as far as your missing people are concerned.

[nullorvoid]

[...You do the lord's work, Herr Jaeger, even if this is actually the first time he's heard you do so. No text today, apparently.]

It's not really bad news. Weird news, but that isn't new - as long as they got put back where they came from, that's fine.

[aufsassig]

[It is probably far more nasally than he was expecting. But he doesn't feel like texting today, being despondent and also a tragic figure of essentially Shakespearean levels.

...Also there's some buzzing in the background, faintly.]

Should be, yeah. The llama god seems to be pretty decent about that kind of thing.

[nullorvoid]

[It's a damn good thing he's been told about the llama.]

That's right, you guys have actually seen God here, haven't you. You one of the ones who talked to it?

[aufsassig]

...Hahaha, oh shit, have I got a picture to show you. Hang on, check this out; they showed up on my birthday.

[THREE GUESSES WHAT PICTURE HE'S SENDING GINTI RIGHT NOW and all of them end with "Lavaburst Ultron McKaiju".]

I kinda kept my distance from the llama, he looked busy at the time. This is one of the other ones, though.

[nullorvoid]

[And there's a pause, and kind of a weird noise out of Ginti, and finally there's words and they're more than a little incredulous because what the shit, man.]

...What the hell is that?

[aufsassig]

One of the things that tried to blow up the world last October, I guess.

[He says, nonchalantly.]

Hell if I know why, I think it was some kind of monumental dick-waving contest.

[nullorvoid]

[...]

...What is wrong with the gods around here.

[It's so flat it's obviously rhetorical, and not even bothering to really be a question.]

[aufsassig]

Oh, no, not between the gods. Between the fuckhead humans that were controlling the gods.

[...]

Apparently you can do that around here.

[nullorvoid]

[...Wait.]

...Well, they're Pokémon, right?

[SO WE CAN CATCH GOD, IS THE UNSPOKEN THEORY HERE.]

[aufsassig]

Yeah, but I think ones like that hit a certain point where you need, like...some kind of special way of grabbing them? Like I'm pretty sure you can't drop two bucks for a dime store ball and suddenly take the reins of god there.

[...hopefully...]

Regular Pokemon can break out, sometimes, when you're trying to catch them. Plus then once they break out, they're pissed at you, so...

[nullorvoid]

I never said I was going to do anything, if that's what you're thinking. I know better than to mess with anything like that.

[aufsassig]

I wasn't, actually. I just didn't know if you knew that could happen.

[...]

I mean I assume if you threw a thing at a god it'd just bust out and kick your ass, so. Or, well, one of those balls, anyway. I think some people threw yarn at the llama and it liked that, so.

[nullorvoid]

[...................]

Is that what all the yarn is for?

[aufsassig]

You're supposed to bounce it off their heads.

[nullorvoid]

I was wondering why everyone here has so damn much of it.

[aufsassig]

Some people flew in from France and handed it out by the boxful. It's kind of a big deal, I guess.

[nullorvoid]

...Is there just something really special about French yarn?

[aufsassig]

Maybe it's tres jolie? Fuck if I know.

Anyway, you're supposed to play games with your Pokemon with it, and it makes them more badass or something.

[nullorvoid]

[The French actually amuses him; you little shit. ...Assuming that was intentional, anyway.]

I'll keep that in mind, I guess. Weird as hell, but everything here kind of is.

[aufsassig]

[Eh, whether you're lucky or you're good, if it all comes out the same, you can nod and smile and say you totally meant it.]

Yeah, tell me about it.

...So there's this chick in Olivine City, a real sweetheart. She's the gym leader over there. You might try with her about getting your pacifist Pokemon to do some shit, she might have some ideas when it comes to getting stronger without really wanting to fight.

[nullorvoid]

Gym leader...they're the ones that pass out the badges, right? I apparently don't need them, but I'm traveling with someone who does, so assuming she wants to get anything done I'll probably be going that way eventually.

This girl have a name?

[aufsassig]

Right, Violet City's the bird guy and Goldenrod's this pink-haired girl with a serious attitude, and the one up in Blackthorn is full of herself and uses dragons and shit.

Olivine is, uh...Ja...nice? Ja...fuck. Jasper? Jasmine. Olivine is Jasmine, there you go.

[nullorvoid]

Jasmine. Okay.

...There a lot of dragons up near Blackthorn, or is that just where that girl who's full of herself decided to set up?

[aufsassig]

I think there's a place up there called the Dragon's Den, which as best I can tell means there's nothing but a shitload of loose dragons in there.